A minimalist eye when having a baby series.
Becoming a parent is a big milestone in life. Most of us want to be ready for the arrival of that little one and we usually go overboard with what we think we need. This is especially true for first-time parents and those who are surrounded by big families and friends as they get many ideas and opinions from all of them. Having a big support group is not a bad thing and usually, everyone is giving their opinion with the right intentions, but this can become overwhelming for new parents.
Baby activity and gear shouldn’t become a headache. Remember that our grandparents and great-grandparents all survived with 80% less baby activity and gear than we have available today.
We always mention how one size doesn’t fit all of us so this list will include our point of view and some of our clients. Take this list as a guide and take the time to question how it would fit or not depending on your lifestyle, hobbies and the goals you have in life. Remember that your baby activity and gear list is never a fixed list and can change so make sure you question it regularly and rotate what you are not using with things you would use.
The fact that you worry about being a good parent means you are a good parent!
Here is a list of 10 baby activity and gear
that you can live without as a minimalist
1- Diaper changing station
Today, you can spend a lot of money on a piece of furniture called a diaper changing station. Trust us, you will change more diapers than you can count but that doesn't mean that you need to buy a piece of furniture for that purpose. After talking to a few parents, many of them mentioned the same thing. They all got that piece of furniture for most of them at their baby shower but then realized that they never really used it.
Samantha said that she lived in a house with three floors and the baby room was in the middle with that changing station. She said she can count on one hand how many times she actually used the changing station because she would change diapers on the floor, in the bathroom on her bed, outside and basically anywhere except on the changing table. After the first week of having to walk all the way to the changing table, they decided to buy three changing mats and leave one of them on each floor.
We actually love using are changing pad that goes in our diaper bag. we can use it on any surface, and we don't have to go far to change a diaper. We are very outdoorsy so that's perfect for us when we're camping or out on a hike, it's really easy to carry. As a minimalist family, we don't think that spending money on an actual changing table is a good idea because most parents we talked to didn't really use it or didn't even have one.
There are so many options for this one and you could decide to only have that changing mat and put it on any surface. So, if you're pregnant and you think that you're not going to walk all the way back to the baby's bedroom every time to change the diaper, maybe skip the changing station for a mat or a pad.
Here are a few options;
PishPosh baby changing pads and mats.
Poshmark might have second hand ones. Yo can get free shipping and a 15$ credit with code OZEYALIFE
2- A diaper bag
OK, just to make us clear you will need a diaper bag so why do we put a diaper bag as a useless item. What we mean is you don't have to buy an actual "diaper bag". We feel that sometimes they are weirdly separated, and you can't use them for your needs because they are made to suit every parent. Before you buy one or put one on your list make sure you know what you're going to use it for.
Do you hike?
Do you camp?
Are you on the road often?
Do you like walking long distances?
Do you like to go on picnics?
…
Think about your lifestyle and what you will need to bring with you.
On a personal note, we love backpacks. They are easier to carry especially due to the fact that we hike often. Instead of paying money for the diaper bag title, we bought a good backpack, and it was perfect for everything we needed to carry around with us and the baby. Make sure you go and look through a few of them and think about what you might need and what you will do. If you're not sure just wait. You probably already have a purse big enough to put a few diapers in it. Use this for now and when you know exactly what you need buy your perfect bag and forget the word diaper.
3- A playpen
This is one of those things that many people buy and then tell me that they haven't used it that much and they were trying to sell it. Today, you can find a playpen that has a small changing station and a little bed for the newborn with pockets and so on. The thing is you won't use it for long because the baby will outgrow it very fast. On top of that, we heard many horror stories where the changing station broke while the baby was in it, or the bed got loose and so on. Make sure it is sturdy and safe if you do decide to use one. Unless you really think that you're going to put your baby in it often, this is one thing that cost a lot of money and it is very bulky.
We used a few alternatives. First, we loved carrying our baby so instead, we had a few different carriers. We also had one of those small tent beds that you can bring outside. They are usually very light and easy to bring. This is perfect for the outdoors enthusiasts because you will use it when camping, on the beach and even if you like doing picnics or going to the park.
Ask yourself why you had a playpen on your list or why you're considering buying one.
What will you use it for? Will it be worth the money?
Are you planning on using it more than once?
Do you have an alternative that will work or that you will use more often?
4- Clothing
We don't mean walking around with a naked baby, but you will probably have more clothing for your baby than hours to wear them. Everyone loves buying newborn clothes, but they don't last that long especially if you have a bigger baby. The majority of newborn clothes barely go to 10 pounds and the zero to three months don't hit 13 pounds. If you give birth to a baby that weighs 9 pounds, they might not even wear the zero to three months size for a month, and we are not even talking about the newborn size.
When you're living the minimalist life, you make sure you have a few pieces to start with that you really like and then you grow with your baby. We all know that shopping for a baby is always fun and exciting. You can find nice outfits on the Facebook marketplace at the thrift and even online on sites like Thredup's and Poshmark. We buy fewer clothes but we make sure there eco-friendly and soft on the baby's skin.
We also make sure that we don't buy too many sizes. Don't store clothing for three years. Wait until your baby grows, especially if you live where it's seasonal. You might get caught! What if your baby hits a growth spurt and grows faster than you planned? Winter comes and your winter clothes for the baby is too small or those cute summer shorts are too tight. Wait until your baby grows and then shop for what you need. Do keep only a few pieces that you really love because they do grow really fast. There's no need though for you to have clothing size 5 if your baby was born yesterday.
Here are a few eco-friendly options and coupon codes;
Poshmark You can get free shipping and a 15$ credit with code OZEYALIFE
Thredup second hand online store. Get 10$ off coupon.
5- Toys
One of our clients said she got so many toys for her newborn that she bought a bin just for the baby toys. Now that her child is 6, they realized they never opened that bin. She would always include her little one in what she was doing, so her toys were pots and wooden spoons, a duster and so on. She was very discouraged thinking about all that money she could have spent on something else useful for them. Now we're not saying not to buy any toys but it might be a good idea to wait.
You've probably seen all those videos on social media where they make the baby choose between a toy and something in the house whether it be a remote control, a bowl, or a wooden spoon. In those videos, the toys never win! Our children loved playing with household items so if we were cooking, they were cooking if we were cleaning, they were cleaning. If we were outside, all those rocks, wooden sticks, leaves, and everything else they could find were and still are their favorite toys.
Don't fall into all those commercials telling you that you need this toy to help your kids talk, and this toy to help them learn their colours, and this toy to help them stand, and this toy to help them walk or this toy to help them sit. Wait to see what they actually like and use things outside in nature to actually stimulate them instead of plastic toys. There's nothing better for a baby to be sitting bare feet in the grass and touch dandelions, or different leaves, to play in sand or mud, to touch rocks and wood, to play in the water or even crack dried leaves in their hands.
This is the perfect kind of stimulation and it's free!
If you do plan on buying some toys, avoid plastic that will end up in landfills for hundreds of years. Buy second hand, the thrift stores are overloaded with toys as you can see in the picture, or from a company that offers eco-friendly options.
6- Rocking chair and bouncy chair
As a minimalist family living in a tiny house, we have no room for the big bulky baby rocking chair. Instead, we bought a comfortable rocking chair that we can sit in and enjoy time with our little one. Some children will not like spending time in those and some might love it. We felt like they took too much space for the amount of time we would actually use them.
There are smaller portable ones, and we did have one of those for our kids. It folded when not in use and was easy to carry anywhere, whether we were outside or to bring in the bathroom when you're alone and want to shower. This might be a good alternative if your family is very active or if you don’t have that much space. They are cheaper and remember that they will outgrow them in a blink of an eye so don’t spend too much money on all those bouncy things. They can only use one at a time anyway so why bother buying all of them.
7- A high chair
We know a few families that actually loved their high chairs but we also know many that didn't use them including us. The bigger ones take a lot of space and a lot of time and energy to clean. Our children preferred being at the table with us and felt left out when in their chairs. We opted for a small portable chair that can be attached to our dining table chairs. We brought that chair everywhere whether it was when we were eating out, at an event, at the beach or even on vacation.
8- Potty chair
This one may be more of a personal point of view. We believe that when the child is ready to learn, it’s better to do it on an actual toilet. We love these types of seats that go over the toilet instead of having a chair beside it. We talked with many parents that were overwhelmed with the potty training period. They would say; we are getting used to the potty and then we will have to get them used to the toilet. Why work double time on the same goal? If you buy a seat that covers the toilet, it might be a little more demanding for you at first but once it’s done they will never have to get used to a different routine.
On a minimalist and tiny living side, we always try to find the best option and make the most of the space we have. Having two types of toilets side by side is not productive for us, nor is it for our little one trying to figure all of this out. Another perk from those toilet seat is that you can find one that folds with a carry bag. This was great for our active family as their potty training routine would continue everywhere we went.
9- Activity mats
These days, on the market, we can probably find a million different play mats for tummy time, on their backs, with songs, lights and much more. Studies suggest that babies are overstimulated today, and it is not a good thing. Bright colors, loud sounds and unfamiliar shapes are not going to help your child develop faster or better. It might actually stress them, make them anxious and prevent them from having a good night's sleep. Scientists also discovered a link between too much stimulation and tantrums.* For this reason, we think that playmats are not a necessary thing to have on your baby activity and gear list.
You might want to have one thing for when they are playing on the floor. Try to find something made out of wood with lighter colors and basic shapes that is age appropriate. We did a mobile with the older kids made out of nature things. Leaves, rocks, branches, dried flowers, pine cones and so on. It was so pretty, and our baby was in awe looking at it. It actually felt so peaceful and relaxing to stare at it, no wonder our baby was so calm. You could try to make one of those and put it somewhere your baby can see it but out of their reach.
If you really want something they can play with, opt for those wooden options or a few toys around them so that they can try to reach and roll to get them. Remember that in no time, they will be crawling around and might not even be interested in all those random toys. Let them discover their surroundings and nature.
10- Everything else on your baby activity and gear list
Planning for a baby can be something challenging especially for first-time parents. You want to prepare for everything but at the same time, you might not be sure how much your baby will enjoy one of them or if option B is better than option A. Don’t worry, you are not alone and there’s no perfect answer.
Our best advice is simple, take the time to question everything and forget what your neighbor said. Think of your lifestyle, your hobbies, your space. Ask yourself bigger questions to know what you need.
Do you want to carry your baby on you?
Will you breastfeed if you can?
Do you want to co-sleep?
Do you live downtown or on a dirt road?
Are you an outdoor enthusiast?
Will you travel?
If you aren’t sure about something just wait. Stores won’t be all closing tomorrow so you can always go get what you really need. Ask for a gift card and say that you are not exactly sure about what your family needs and that you really want to enjoy everything that comes into your house. Talk with a family that lives the kind of lifestyle you live, or want to live with your baby. Everyone will have opinions about what they loved and hated, and you will discover yours too. There is nothing wrong with wanting something else or less than what someone said you needed.
Trust yourself because you know what’s best for you.
What baby gear or activity did you have and found to be useless for you because you didn’t use it?
What would you have loved to have and didn’t get?
What is your favorite baby activity or gear that you cannot live without?
References
* The journal of pediatric health care
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